My Story of Salvation

Reclaiming My Power, Sovereignty Over My Soul, and Remembering Who I Am.

People think devotion to God is restrictive, but really, it is the truest freedom.
We give up our limited sense of self and open ourselves to the unlimited possibilities and highest potential of who we can be. We let go of all the aspects of ourselves that we’ve become in order to survive and adapt to the world, and we rise into our true selves - the ones made in the image and likeness of the infinite God.

This is the story of my salvation.
By Kallie Edmonson.

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In 2016, my spiritual awakening was catalyzed by an experience with psilocybin.

Before I continue, I want to clarify: I don’t suggest just anyone try this medicine unless they are deeply called. Although I have experience with different plant medicines, at this point in my life I don’t think I will ever commune with any of them again. I’ll share more about that another day. For now, I want to honor the role this moment played in opening my eyes, not as the source of my healing, but as the mirror that showed me the truth.

At the time of my awakening, I was at the lowest point in my life. I was 20 years old and had been estranged from both of my parents for over seven years. I was in a toxic and abusive relationship, working a job I hated, and studying Medical Sciences at university because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do.

I struggled with depression and chronic fatigue, sleeping most of my life away and numbing my feelings with cannabis the rest of the time. My anxiety was so severe that I would throw up every time I had to leave the house for work or school. I sought help from doctors, but all they had to offer me was antidepressant medication. I declined, feeling dismissed, and sensing there had to be another way.

I was empty inside. I was barely eating. I weighed 87 pounds.
I was lost, confused, and hopeless. Feeling like I was completely alone.

That evening, I thought I was taking mushrooms just for the “trip.” I wanted to feel something. I had heard that psychedelics could induce altered states of consciousness, but I had no idea how profoundly seeing my life from a different perspective would change everything.

While under the influence, I remember looking at myself in the mirror and seeing myself as if I were a corpse. My face was dull and lifeless. My cheekbones and eyes were sunken. My body looked like a skeleton. I collapsed into tears, bawling uncontrollably, wishing I were truly dead. The pain inside me felt unbearable.

“The world sucks. I suck. Everything sucks. Why do I have to live like this?”

And then the realization hit me: I was choosing this life.
And if I wanted a different life, I had to make different choices.

The next morning, I replayed the experience over and over in my mind.
“How do I choose differently?”

All I knew was the world I had been taught - broken families, unhappy people, chronic health issues, a struggle for survival. I had been sold the idea that this was just how life was, and the only pathway to a somewhat better life is school, university, work, retirement… and maybe you’ll have some time to enjoy life before you die.

And at that point, I would rather have died than keep living that way.

I was done. I couldn’t go on like this anymore.
So I fell to my knees, sobbing, and cried out:

“God, if you’re out there, please help me!”

At the time, I believed I was an atheist. I was raised Christian, but I rebelled against the faith at a young age after my father, who claimed he wanted to be a pastor, used Jesus to excuse his abuse. Watching my mother, who had the purest heart, be taken by the demons of drug addiction convinced me that either God wasn’t real, or God wasn’t with us.

But this time… God responded.

An overwhelming sense of relief washed over me as I wept and wept. This crying felt different - cathartic, cleansing, as though something was being purified deep within my soul. With full conviction, I declared again:

“God, show me the way, and I promise I will follow.”

A few hours later, two friends showed up at my house. I hadn’t seen them in almost a year. The relationship I was in was controlling, and I had been isolated from everyone. One of them told me she had an overwhelming feeling that she needed to check on me, and asked the other to come with her.

I told them everything - the abuse, the sadness, the longing for change.

After listening, my friend asked me a question.
And for the first time, I heard the voice of God speak directly to me:

“What would you do if you loved yourself?”

At that moment, I felt the answer in my entire body.
I knew exactly what I would do.

I believe we all know the answer to this question.
We know what we would let go of.
We know what boundaries we would finally uphold.
We know the dreams we would run toward if we trusted we were supported.
We know the ease and joy we would allow ourselves if we weren’t constantly fighting for survival.

The hardened parts of us are not who we are, they are protective barriers built around our hearts in response to a world that taught us love was conditional.

That day, I made a wholehearted commitment to choosing love.

I ended the unhealthy relationship.
I quit the job I hated.
I dropped out of university after my third year.
I began releasing friendships, habits, and mindsets that were not rooted in love.

I committed to healing.
I committed to surrender.
I committed to letting God lead the way.

This was my salvation.

My life became an unceasing prayer:
“God, show me the way, and I will follow.”

Because that day, God brought me back from the dead.

I was not truly living before then. And since that moment, by God’s grace, I have not experienced even an ounce of depression, anxiety, or hopelessness again. Instead, I reclaimed my inner peace, vitality, and wholeness. In an instant, I reclaimed my power to live a full life, a life led by love and faith.

What I’ve learned is that healing is not about becoming someone new or fixing something that’s broken. It’s about shedding everything we were never meant to carry.

Letting go of outdated stories.
Releasing identities built on fear and survival.
Reclaiming the parts of ourselves we had to suppress to belong.
Learning to treat ourselves with compassion.
Giving ourselves grace.

I learned to love myself the way God loves me - unconditionally and with wholehearted devotion. And I continue choosing this love, again and again, shedding layer after layer, as I descend deeper into the sacred depths of my heart.

“In the innermost depths of my heart I transcend the bounds of my created personhood and discover within myself the direct unmediated presence of the living God.”
- Kallistos Ware

When I reclaimed my faith I took my power back from the world and reclaimed sovereignty over my soul.

In doing so, I was liberated from the life I had been unconsciously creating, shaped by past trauma and fear-based programming, and I became free to be who I truly am. A world that once felt dark and hopeless began to reveal itself through eyes of beauty and wonder. I was no longer confined by the limitations of the conditioned mind, but open to the infinite power to co-create a life so expansive it is beyond human comprehension.

“For the mind governed by the flesh is death,
but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.”
- Romans 8:6

This renewal was not merely a change in mindset, but a living transformation. As my mind was renewed through faith, my inner world reflected this truth, and my outer reality aligned. I traded living for the world for eternal life, not as a distant promise, but as a present experience of heaven on earth unfolding moment by moment.

I came to know, deeply and undeniably, that with God, anything is possible.

In this union with God, I awakened Christ within, fulfilling the redemptive promise that “what was once bound to death is instantly transformed by God’s power and raised into the glorified likeness of the resurrected Christ, just as it was always meant to be.” (1 Corinthians 15:50–58)

“It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.”
- Galatians 2:20

Since reclaiming my power through faith a decade ago, I can say with confidence: nothing is ever lost in this surrender. Each time I am called to release a worldly attachment, God fills that space with something far greater than what I could have chosen for myself.

The dreams placed in your heart are not random, they are divine invitations to rise. And when you say yes, God will empower you to grow into the highest version of yourself and make these dreams your reality. More than that, God will lead you on a path greater than anything you could have imagined.

Blessings, grace, and miracles become part of everyday life, not because they’re asked for, but because they’re finally aligned.

I know now, with full conviction, that I am infinitely loved.
And I get to live in this peace, gratitude, and joy - every single day.

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So I offer you this opportunity to reflect,
Who would you be if you were loved and nurtured from the very beginning? How would you move if you were fully seen, held, and supported? What would you let go of, and what would you embrace more fully, if you truly loved yourself? What parts of your childhood innocence are calling to be welcomed home?

Know this,
These parts of you were never lost. They were never separate. They have been waiting patiently for you to remember them, and welcome them back into the wholeness of who you truly are.

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I could not have done this alone. And now, through Christ, I am never alone.

Each breath alive with the presence of God.

Each step carried by faith.

Each moment, I remember: I am infinitely loved, divinely supported, and eternally one with the Source of all life.

I walk this path in the radiant freedom of surrender - free to love, free to create, free to be wholly me.

Forever and always,
Kallie